By Habibu Bawa
Every society is guided by rules, norms and values enacted from culture, tradition, history and/or religion which gives shape, feature and makes the society peaceful and habitable.
To everyone who attended any higher institution, visited ATMs or some gatherings in Northern Nigeria, “ladies first, ladies this, ladies that” have at least stucked his heart or blocked his ways in one occasion or the other.
What then happen, you’ll be in queue for hours and when they come, they’ll form their own and leave you waiting or at some places where you will be asked to be a man, meaning to hold on, they’ll pave ways for them to achieve their aims in time but these are the people that will later come to claim equality or even superiority.
I see this as the worst torture, beating a child and disallowing it to cry, highest level of insanity and lack of simple reasoning for anyone to equate a wife to her husband!
In some places here, the prospective husband have to work in the farm of his in-laws for years before he could be given a wife, in some, they have to test his endurance by giving him strokes of cane on his chest not even to mention the current mode of paying huge amount in thousands or hundreds of thousands as bride price or dowry to the bride’s family.
Tell me, between the purchased and the purchaser, who should dictate the tunes? It is obvious when you see the work of a malfunctioning brain.
Men have to make the first ‘move’, men have to build the house, roof the house and buy other things required. Men have to first approach the family and again, men have to pay all the price and buy clothes and other stuff in the name of “Lefe”, pay for every transportation anywhere they’re going and yet you called marriage a partnership? What type of partnership? Parasitism or demonism?
Let me take you to football field for better understanding.
Have you noticed that no matter how expensive a club buys a player, he is not equal or superior to the club. As long as the club pays him, he’s obligated to do as the club requires of him?
The club holds the right to bring in other players to play his position whether or not he’s playing to their satisfaction. In fact, he can be sold out or be let out for free anytime his contract runs out.
No matter how you see it, that is the same type of relationship that should and actually exist between a man and his wife that he paid bride price for. The wife may not see it that way, but men understand it and act accordingly.
I’m not saying wives should be seen as inferiors nor enslaved no matter how much or what one paid to marry, nor do I support those who are of such views but wives are subordinates and should agree to be and nobody should breach boundaries. Man is the head while everyone is below.
As long as men continue to pay bride price to marry their wives, they are not equal and men can acquire as many as they want as long as they are in need and have the means.
So listen carefully, if you are married to your husband and he paid bride price to marry you, claiming equality with him is criminal and you are a legally owned property!
If you want to change this narrative, tell your people to return the bride price he paid. It is only when both of you come together without one paying to have another that you can be partners or equals.
A man that sees you as partner after paying your bride price is an exceptional man. The one that does not see you as such after paying bride price to have you is not abnormal, he’s in fact very normal and have only chosen to act as the contract demands. There is nothing wrong about that.
If you want to be equal with your husband, make sure he does not pay bride price to marry you. If you want to be superior to him and be proud about it, ASK HIM OUT and pay the bride price.
Except this is done, wives remain properties of their husbands, no matter the position they hold outside home. If feminists are SERIOUSLY SERIOUS, they should call for abolition of bride price if they are really fighting for equality with men, especially in relation to marriage. Otherwise they are just but mentally retarded people.
UNTIL BRIDE PRICE NORM IS ABOLISHED, WIVES SHOULD BE ANYTHING THEIR HUSBANDS WANT THEM TO BE.